I realized when I don't have any place to express your anger and anxiety, this is the place where i visit that does not have any people peeking into my mind(except someone that i'm willingly letting in). I've been in a very agitated mood in these few months, i want somewhere to express my anger towards some people.

In the office there is a person that have a track record in stealing other people's staff. For fucks sake, why can't you find your own staff la? why must you hunt for staff in the office and disrupting other people's harmony? You can say whatever you want and will i believe in it? of course not! Take all your nonsense and shove it up where the sun don't shine ok? Who wouldn't be okay to move on if you offer them better position and salary?

I'm telling myself this is the only time that I'll compromise and if you try anything fishy again, and that's it! I'll make it a mission of mine to let the whole office know what a pure fucker you are!

I hate myself for loving you, and I hate this feeling, I just wanna sleep and never wake up from this nightmare :(


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I'm happy as long as you are, even if you don't realize that I love you.

I have something what people said "messiah syndrome", I always take pity in those people who have it tough in their life, thinking that I can give them love in some form no matter how small gesture that I make, but these kind of things comes unrewarded, then why do it you ask? Maybe because this is who I am, I want people around me to be happy, I want them to confide in me when they're sad, I want my friends to be able to open up to me and share everything with me and know that there will always be someone to shoulder their weight with them.

The one I love, treat me as a close friend without knowing that I want to be more than friends, I want to protect her in whatever way I can, but what to do? She only thinks that I'm an older brother who will help her in whatever way he can. Today, she confided in me about her love life, being an "older brother", the only thing I could do is support her and ask her to take the leap, and a little piece inside of me has died, I mean, what can I do? That's why I'm soooo going to be alone.

Why can't I just take the leap I was telling her to take?

Asking too much question, getting too few answers :(


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how i wish that when i sleep i wouldn't wake up forever


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End of things

I've had it! Why would you do something like this? You don't even give me a call when you're the one that's wrong! I've tried to make excuses for you but it's useless

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Something Sweet

Can't sleep, so plan to rearrange some of my messy stuff, found some very old letters from friends, ex, and some that even i think have forgotten about me, reading those letters and greeting cards made me teared up because i once have lots of things i have missed, a simple thank you, wasn't enough to these friends, some confessed their love for me, but i never returned anything, some said i love you and i never appreciated her, if she's reading this blog, i'm sorry for everything bad that i've done, never been good in handling a relationship no matter what,

and friends that have forgotten me, i wish to contact you back but the information i have is limited and i so so wish to find you back, all of you !!

and to my existing friends, no matter who you are, really appreciate every single one of you, :) i love you guys lots and lots!!


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What the.....?

oh no!! i can't sleep now, why it have to be like this when i have to work tomorrow?? in this CNY week, i've used almost 1K+ just for dinner, movie, and other stuffs, i'm starting to lose track of my money, have to save up for my england trip, hopefully mom will fulfill her promise and send me to england for a holiday, some of you might know that my mom always changes her mind about something, hopefully this won't be a disappointing year, played mahjong today and surprisingly, i managed to win some money, i think this year is really for the rat instead of the rabbit, yvonne's pet hamster died today and she cried her eyes out, i didn't even shed a tear for it, and i'm wondering, am i that cold hearted?

ARGH!!! i still can't sleep, how?!?!?!


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